So many people told me, 2 is easier than 1, and yes that may be true as they get older and can play together, but I didn’t find a newborn and a 4 year old easy atal. If anything I found it completely overwhelming, very stressful and it made me incredibly anxious. I always felt like I wasn’t spending enough time with my son, yet I wanted to give the baby the same amount of time my son got when he was a baby, but I just couldn’t do that this time around. The first time around it was just the 2 of us so all my attention could be on him, I only had to concentrate on him, so obviously the second time around was going to be different.

I think what I found most challenging was  not being able to take my eyes of the baby for 2 seconds, because my son loved to try and pick her up, or lie beside her but basically on top off her. He would give her little toys I would tell him time and time again she couldn’t have but he just wanted to play with her not realising that she couldn’t actually play yet and just wanted to eat everything she was handed. Eventually though as he got used to her and she got older it started to get easier, when she started crawling though he found it incredibly frustrating when she would come in his room and touch his things, now she’s walking he finds it even more annoying but he’s also realised that she now wants to get involved in things with him.

The bond they have developed now though is amazing, I love seeing them together, they are the sweetest little things. Now I can’t imagine even adding another one into the mix, I may pull my hair out, because if I thought 2 was hard, I can only imagine what 3 would be like at first. So no, having more than 1 child isn’t the easiest, but seeing your 2 kids love each other, be proud of one another, and playing together makes every single second of it all worth it.

Now just to decide if we add another, or if we end it all there, decisions decisions. I think I’ll leave it to whatever happens happens, if it’s meant to be, then it will happen, and if it’s not then it won’t, but secretly, I desperately would love just 1 more, and I’d pray my mental health didn’t go downhill again and next time I could enjoy every single minute⭐️

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