I love breastfeeding, mostly for the fact that it made the weight drop off me both times, I was back to my usual size 2 weeks after giving birth, that was enough to keep me happy! Not only that though, I love it for the bond, the cuddles, and just feeling like I’ve done something real good, every bit of weight they put on in the first six months was down to me, finally I feel I’ve done something good. It’s not always easy though, and don’t get my wrong I was so tempted to stop so many times. The nights when they would cluster feed and I’d get not a wink of sleep, getting thrush in my breast was not exactly fun either. The milk coming in and becoming so full they hurt too touch, and my least favourite one, not having the latch right and it feeling like they were going to suck the nipple right off.

Now both my kids had jaundice, which made them nightmare feeders at first, my daughters was that bad we ended up in hospital for a week back and forward everyday as she just wouldn’t wake up to feed, or when she did it was only for 5 minutes and that was her, so that made feeding with her very difficult. She didn’t latch on good for ages and I sat up crying most nights, that was the time I contemplated stopping the most, especially when I got told I’d have to substitute every second feed with formula. Thankfully though, after 3 weeks her jaundice levels lowered completely, and she started putting on weight again, but yeah I so very nearly gave up then. Little things like that are so stressful, and being stressed while trying to look after kids is not what your wanting.

I managed to breastfeed my son for 2 year, and if he had it his way it would of been longer than that, but I just felt enough was enough, I had did it longer than my main goal which was 12 month, so I was happy. I am currently still feeding my daughter, who is just over 1, and looks like she won’t be coming off anytime soon either. My son sucked his thumb, so that was his comfort, my daughters comfort unfortunately is my breast, she hated a dummy and doesn’t suck her thumb, so whenever she’s hurt she wants boob, tired, any emotion really that’s what she looks for. Which is fine but sometimes, I wish it was just a feed in the morning and a feed at night, as during the day just all feels a bit much.

You share your body for 9 month during pregnancy, and then if you breastfeed you go on to share it after that aswel, right now I’m at the stage of longing for my body back, yes I love breastfeeding, but it really is draining. It makes me tired, and she has started biting, so I sit in fear when feeding her in case she decides to sink her teeth into me. I never once had this problem with my son, he bit once got told no and never tried it again. My daughter on the other hand though, is one sassy princess and she does what she wants. I blame her dad for spoiling her, whatever the princess wants, the princess gets.

Will I breastfeed any other children I may have? More than likely, as it feels special to me, but what I will probably do different is try them with a bottle around 12 weeks, so that atleast dad can get involved with feeding aswel and it’s not always left to me. Every baby is different as I’ve experienced this time around, my son was a good feeder from the start near enough, and my daughter was terrible and has never got any better as she still wakes up during the night for milk, and still feeds during the day. I pray if I ever have another that that baby ends up like my son because I’m not sure I could cope with another child that doesn’t want to sleep through the night. Also, one other downside I’ve just remembered(as I’ve stood up and had a peek in the mirror) is that breastfeeding absolutely ruins your breasts, I don’t think I can even call mine breasts, they resemble scrambled eggs, they hang down to my knees near enough. Thanks breastfeeding, not that I wanted some nice boobs anyway.

Id recommend anyone thinking about breastfeeding to give it a go, even for a few days so if you can find out if it’s for you, if it’s not, no problem, atleast you know you tried! I honestly don’t believe the whole breast is best thing, obviously it’s good yeah, but surely just feeding your baby is the best thing for them?

Instagram: motherhoodandus

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